The Gen Zers using ‘mood boards’ to issue Christmas gift demands to their parents

On an early December morning, James Mroczynski was in his living room in west London, when his phone pinged. It was a message from his 28-year-old daughter, Lydia, sending a decree delivered to the family’s WhatsApp group: “We’re doing Christmas mood boards this year,” read the text.

James, 56, stared at the screen in bewilderment. He and his wife, Edyta, have seven children ranging in ages from 12 to 29 years old. They normally enjoy a traditional Christmas, where everyone gathers under the tree and unwraps their gifts, with no idea what they might be getting.

But the problem with this, the Mroczynski children decided this year, was the chance of getting something they didn’t want. Hence, the mood boards. Collages of images culled from magazines, catalogues and social-media sites like Pinterest and Instagram, mood boards have become popular among Generation Z.

And it turned out that some of the Mroczynski children had been working on theirs for months, to make it crystal clear what they wanted for Christmas. One board featured Le Creuset stoneware and fashion accessories – another, expensive clothing.

So much for the joy and surprise of Christmas. More and more families up and down Britain are rejecting the idea of choosing a thoughtful present for loved ones and, instead, drawing up something which resembles a shopping list. The spirit of Christmas appears to have vanished.

“It’s like an arms race,” says James. “If I don’t get something that’s exactly on the board, have I missed the mark? Will they smile at me sweetly, but inwardly be saying, ‘He’s got it wrong again?’”

The rot set in a few years ago when the children first began writing Christmas wishlists, specifying, to the letter, exactly the type of presents they would like. The documents soon grew to the size of “a wedding gift list”, says James. This year’s mood boards are the same, except with added cardboard and Pritt stick.

But Lydia, James’s daughter, whose mood board includes wellington boots, a pearl bracelet and a pair of leather gloves, defends the innovation. “This is the first Christmas we’ve enforced it on everybody,” she says. “I think if you’re a person who stresses about what to get, it takes the stress off because you’ve got so many options.

“And if you’re a person who stresses about receiving something and not wanting anyone to waste money or their time, it keeps the harmony in the family. To some extent, no one’s complaining or heartbroken at Christmas, which we’ve had in years gone by.”

Social media ‘must-haves’

“Gift lists are definitely on the rise, driven by [social media] platforms,” says consumer expert Kate Hardcastle. Unboxings, in which social media users film themselves unpacking purchases on camera, “must-have” lists, and advent countdowns have all become popular online. “Inevitably, that bleeds into real life,” says Hardcastle.

The result is a move away from “symbolic gifting” and towards “transactional gifting”, she says – and it’s causing divisions in families all over the country. It’s not just parents – grandparents, aunts and uncles, and wider family members are all having gift lists foisted upon them, much to their consternation. Some parents are even sending out wishlists to family and friends on behalf of their children. Other families have begun using Google documents or Excel spreadsheets to lay out their exact requirements for Christmas Day.

To Laura*, 25, writing any sort of list – or, indeed, a mood board – completely undermines the point of Christmas. “I grew up in a house where the little thoughtful stocking stuffers were the main event, and we would agonise over buying perfect gifts, the ones that show you really know a person,” she says. The family she has married into, on the other hand, has a transactional approach to presents. Not only do they write wishlists, but a specific budget is decided in advance, and it is not unheard of for the recipient to order the present themselves, wrap it up, and then unwrap it again on Christmas day.

“It strips the magic,” she sighs wearily. “And, selfishly, it adds another task to the endless festive to-do list – not only have I been stressing about purchasing everyone else’s presents for three months, now I’ve got to do the admin for myself, too. I would far rather receive something picked because the gifter thought I’d like it, even if it’s not what I would choose for myself.”

Festive Excel spreadsheets

Rachel Harrison’s family have been using office tools to plan their Christmas present buying for years. Instead of guessing which gifts to get one another, each family member creates a wishlist in a Google document, which they add to throughout the year. As the gifts are acquired by family members, they are crossed off the list.

“My brother has an Excel spreadsheet that also has a column for the link to the product, a column for notes about the product, a column for roughly how much it costs and a column for the priority level, out of five,” explains 25-year-old Rachel from Surrey, who works as a project manager.

When Rachel first explained the system to her husband, Pip, whom she met five years ago, he was shocked. “They make Excel spreadsheets for every single holiday and every possible thing under the sun,” he says, shaking his head. Pip’s family, on the other hand, are less specific, and would often be happier with a box of chocolates. “What do you mean? I have to think of things to put on a wishlist? I don’t know what I want,” Rachel recalls him saying.

In the run-up to their first Christmas together, Pip only listed one present in his document, which caused much distress among his in-laws. “He said, ‘I can only think of one thing, this is too hard,’” Rachel remembers. Eventually, she found herself adding ideas on his behalf, for fear that he would end up with no presents at all. Their compromise is now a joint Google document of board games they both want – though Rachel continues to quietly add other items to Pip’s side of the wishlist.

Back in west London, it is not just the Mroczynski children who are making mood boards – so is James’s wife, Edyta. It is “beautifully curated” – with mugs, homeware and knitwear – but entirely at odds with his budget (James has been assigned Edyta in the family’s Secret Santa).

“I’m trying to stay within the Secret Santa budget, to be fair to everyone else,” he explains. “[Edyta] published her mood board, and it was full of Fair Isle jumpers, and all this sort of nonsense… Do I have to buy her a jumper that’s going to make me overdrawn for the next three years? I don’t know.”

What was once a gamble and a bit of fun has now become a test to be passed. This year, James says he’s going to take a stand – his mood board will be a blank sheet of paper. “When my children ask what I want, I’m just telling them I want everyone around the table.”

[Source: Daily Telegraph]