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Andy Burnham will soon be even more hated than Keir Starmer
Labour’s ‘Burnham-mania’ can’t mask the truth – a phoney PM parachuted in without an election victory is destined for disaster
The other day, a colleague and I were discussing Andy Burnham. “His popularity won’t last,” they predicted. “This is just ‘Cleggmania’ all over again.”
Frankly, I was appalled by this display of wholly unwarranted negativity. And so, in no uncertain terms, I told him that he was being grossly unfair. No, not to Burnham – to Nick Clegg.
Say what you like about the former Lib Dem leader – that he’s a snivelling, jelly-spined charlatan who gaily betrayed his own voters at the first whiff of something vaguely close to power – but even his most dedicated foe would have to acknowledge that he genuinely was very popular.
Admittedly, it was only for about two days in the middle of April 2010. However, no matter how brutally ephemeral or pitifully misguided it may have been, “Cleggmania” was a real, observable phenomenon. Startling numbers of viewers who watched that historic first TV debate between Clegg, Gordon Brown and David Cameron did seem to believe, for one heady moment, that this Lib Dem chap they’d never heard of before was a breath of fresh air.
“Burnham-mania”, by contrast, I see absolutely no sign of – except, that is, among the dozens of Labour MPs who squeezed giddily into that nauseating group selfie with their prospective new boss this week. Every last one of them looked gooily adorational. But come on. That’s not because they think he’s a political genius who’s about to save Britain – it’s because they’re desperate to ingratiate themselves with him, in the hope that he’ll give them a plum job in Cabinet. Nothing more to it than that.
Beyond the Labour benches, though, I sense little enthusiasm for our wannabe PM. And I suspect that it’s only going to be downhill from here. In fact, impossible though it may sound, I honestly believe that Burnham will soon be even more hated than Sir Keir Starmer.
He might be a more charismatic leader than Starmer. But, for pity’s sake, that’s the lowest bar on Earth. You might as well hail him as a better childminder than King Herod.
In any case, Andy’s blokey charm won’t be anywhere near enough to save him. First, because he often comes across as weak, superficial and hopelessly vague about detail. His flustered U-turns over rejoining the EU, defying the bond markets and compensating Waspi women make Starmer look like a tower of consistency.
Also, I suspect he’ll prove to be a lot less “in touch” with “ordinary people” than he promises to be. Especially if he does intend to ditch Shabana Mahmood’s attempt to tighten rules on permanent residency because it’s somehow unfair to the mind-boggling numbers of migrants who pitched up after the pandemic. That’s about as likely to impress the British public as banning dog ownership, abolishing Wimbledon or awarding a damehood to Shamima Begum.
To be fair, we don’t yet know for certain what PM Burnham’s plans are. But that brings me to the biggest reason for thinking he’ll be more hated than Starmer. The moment times get tough – as they do for all PMs – voters will have even less sympathy than usual, all because of how Burnham got the job.
They’ll be thinking: “Yes, Starmer was useless. But at least he won a general election. He presented a manifesto to the nation, and it voted, making him PM in the normal way. Whereas this Burnham bloke didn’t stand on that manifesto because he wasn’t even a candidate at the time. How come he suddenly gets to force all his terrible ideas on us?
“It was bad enough when the Tories kept changing PMs. But at least their new leaders had each stood on their party’s most recent manifesto. Burnham doesn’t have even that faint sliver of legitimacy because he’s just appeared out of nowhere.
“Oh, and while we’re on that subject, what does it say about the quality of today’s Labour MPs? There are more than 400 of them. Yet, when they wanted to change their leader, they couldn’t find a single one who was up to the job. So they had to hold an otherwise needless by-election, purely to bring in a leader from outside.
“I don’t just hate Burnham. I hate all the rest of them, too.”
Of course, Labour MPs will try to tell themselves that I’m wrong. But, to be on the safe side, I recommend they take the following word of advice. While they’re preparing to make Burnham their leader, they should quickly get together to decide on his successor, too.
That should save them some time in about six months.
[Source: Michael Deacon (Comment) - Daily Telegraph]
